Thinking Of You
by l'il pirate
Summary: Anamaria ponders old memories when she attempts to put Jack behind her only to realize she can't forget him.


**Thinking of You**- Katy Perry

She looked out across the dusty road and the quiet water laying beyond with a knot in her throat. She bounced along with the cart, her backside feeling rather calloused as they carried on, there was nothing to do but sit and watch the journey pass them by. This time, however long, gave her a considerable amount of time to think.

She hated to do it but as she turned to Emile sitting at the front of the cart with his sister at his side, he was a companionate man with loyal devotion, she could only think of Jack. She couldn't help it, lining this man up to Jack and comparing them. It was easily done, once you had a taste of perfection, never would any man be able to measure up. They were all flawed in her eyes. That, though, didn't make anything any better. He had told her to go, he had urged her out the door. How could she ever know that kind of perfection anymore?

They stopped for the night amongst a large selection of palm trees. A few other wagons joined them, forming a protective camp and soon enough Jemma was off playing with the other children leaving Emile and Ana alone. Emile got to work almost immediately gathering firewood and setting up crude sleeping arrangements in and around the cart, but Ana set about cooking something to eat, all the while thinking back to her days without ground underfoot. She tried to think it odd, just how much she thought of him when Emile was around, but as the thoughts grew she knew it wasn't. She began thinking of what he would do if he were here now, she found it hard to smile but then caught sight of Emile spreading an old blanket on the ground along side the cart. Suddenly she sighed inwardly. Oh, if only _he _were spending the night. Ana caught Emile's eye then looked away, if only she were looking into his eyes instead, how much better life would be.

Why did she have to think of him now? His dark eyes creating heat in any environment, no matter how cold your character he could melt your defences. He was a tricky man to figure out but if you took the time you soon found out he was like a beach with treasure 'neath the sand. His heart was hidden but once found it was of priceless worth.

Ana sat silent through the entire evening, staring out into the darkness without a word. Jemma wasn't worried, she didn't much like her brother's woman- she was odd, always staring into the dark, her mind always wondering. Emile, silent and steady, didn't worry to much either, troubled pasts were common in slaves and although Ana seemed quiet free in both word and deed he knew not to press her from information. They would make a happy life together, he knew that, and he would soon help her forget her pain as she had him.

Days passed slowly but each left her question unanswered. How did she find better once she had the best? She kept running his words through her mind, his claim there were lots of fish in the sea and the waters she should test. She kept kicking herself for taking his drunken words to heart and gone to a place she now loathed. He had been drunk. She shouldn't have listened. He had persisted. She had been angry. Now she was a hundred miles away. He was gone.

Ana remembered the day, that sudden day not long after when they had arrived in a small town of kind impartial farmers and merchants. A few from their wagon train had decided to stay here and Emile wanted to as well but Ana refused. They were still too close to the ocean, she didn't want to smell the sea. She didn't want to think about it, be remembered of him. It was too dangerous. So they prepared to leave again, but as they did Emile met Ana outside the stable and amidst a heavy rain proposed they marry before they departed the next day.

She didn't know what happened during that moment but all she saw was Jack, kneeling before her in the pouring rain. Overcome by emotion and sweet memories tears streaked down her cheeks as she agreed wholeheartedly, but as Jack stood and kissed her lips the spell was broken. She could still taste Jack's mouth but it was Emile's lips atop hers. Suddenly she was disgusted with herself.

Not three hours later Ana stood in a small room, borrowed from a kindly old widow to ready for the wedding. Ana stood before the window, ignorant of the large looking glass provided for her to ready herself. She faced the window with closed eyes, silently casting her last farewell to the man she loved into the wind.

_You were the very best of men to me, to all, and I do regret those words we exchanged. Those steps I took away from you. I didn't think I could ever let you go. Now, though, I've learned. I touched you, you touched my heart and I was burnt. My scar from you burns to this very moment but I still want to tell you... every time I'm with him I'm thinking fo you. I just thought you should know, I'm giving my life away today but if I was looking into your eyes now you would know that my heart always belongs to you._

Ana turned to the door as it opened, the old woman smiled at her and offered her hand. It was time. She took the wild flowers extended to her and followed the woman through the Inn into the common room where Emile was standing, clean shaven and dressed in his best. Ana swallowed and lifted her chin. Everything would be fine, they would make a happy life together. The minister began to speak, Bible in hand he walked them through the task of marriage and then asked that question. Was there any reason they should not wed... did anyone object? Ana held her tongue and waited as a heavy moment surrounded them. No one spoke, not even Jemma. Good, maybe this was meant to be. But then, suddenly as soon as Ana sighed with relief the door opened and there he was. Jack Sparrow. Anamaira dropped the bouquet in her hands and gasped as her eyes met his.

He didn't say a word to her, he just smirked and raised his pistol in the minister's direction.

"I do."

* * *

:END:

"Leave me a massage!"

All belongs to the mouse. ... 'drinks are on the mouse!'

The song this is taken from belongs to Katy Perry though.


End file.
